i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
