you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
