This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I will be naked everywhere
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
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