I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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