Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
