You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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