week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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