i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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