I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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