"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize