In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
