yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
