brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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