Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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