Your tits are I can't wait for
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
