She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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