I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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