He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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