she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
