Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i dont even know how to be here
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
