her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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