I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
