I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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