Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
