This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize