The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
