So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
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This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
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You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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