So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
