i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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