He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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