Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
