Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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