Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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