im having a threesome with these popsicles
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
