im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
