no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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