I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
