Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize