so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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