so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
