he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
