i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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