On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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