dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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