why didn't you poke me back
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
