God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize