So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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