im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
