susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
