I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
