Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
