Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
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I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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