toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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