brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
