Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
