I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
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Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes