I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.