Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

Fav 10 956 1737
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah

Fav 16 4083 888
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"

(401): View more from Rhode Island

So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.

Fav 26 3172 1290
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.

Fav 78 6106 3018
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.

Fav 29 6802 3110
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog

Fav 30 6682 1788
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.

Fav 3 1147 2311
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.

Fav 2 748 483
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.

Fav 1 936 467
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT