he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
