Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize
