Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room

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  (310): tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room http://tfl.nu/5l09
  Replies (4) Good night (2247) Bad night (789)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.

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  (216): I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself. (1-216): It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you. (216): He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry. http://tfl.nu/dfyj
  Replies (27) Good night (599) Bad night (5129)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.

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  (501): thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control. http://tfl.nu/7f4i
  Replies (70) Good night (1040) Bad night (2762)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Odds of those being real?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  One in who gives a fuck

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  (202): Odds of those being real? (614): One in who gives a fuck http://tfl.nu/agkd
  Replies (91) Good night (4887) Bad night (597)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  school has made you so classy.

  (514): View more from Quebec

  that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.

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  (780): school has made you so classy. (514): that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884. http://tfl.nu/r8mz
  Replies (45) Good night (4151) Bad night (607)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation

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  (717): this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation http://tfl.nu/knkc
  Replies (12) Good night (2387) Bad night (3141)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.

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  (323): Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat. http://tfl.nu/q9lv
  Replies (17) Good night (4791) Bad night (865)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face

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  (615): If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face http://tfl.nu/2kqd
  Replies (9) Good night (4085) Bad night (810)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight

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  (713): We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/owr2
  Replies (6) Good night (682) Bad night (4151)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes

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  (773): Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes http://tfl.nu/y66v
  Replies (27) Good night (4751) Bad night (1029)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.

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  (330): literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs. http://tfl.nu/r48u
  Replies (11) Good night (2680) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday

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  (614): Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday http://tfl.nu/2snx
  Replies (3) Good night (853) Bad night (1854)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation

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  (931): I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation http://tfl.nu/adcz
  Replies (7) Good night (2038) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent

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  (860): Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent http://tfl.nu/cikk
  Replies (7) Good night (869) Bad night (389)
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  (619): View more from California

  Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.

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  (619): Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it. http://tfl.nu/xm8c
  Replies (8) Good night (1918) Bad night (363)

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