True but thats because hes a fetus.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
