wat bout pragnant strippers??
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
