something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize