Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel