Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
